You Look So Fine, Fix You
by mirage888
Summary: A fanciful iOMG speculation/twoshot/songfic set to Garbage's You Look So Fine and Coldplay's Fix You. Warning: Possible OOCness, extreme Seddie!
1. You Look So Fine

_(A/N: Okay, I was seriously SO excited when I got this idea, that I went and sprinted 3 miles on our elliptical machine. I hope that makes up for the fact that this isn't a chapter in one of my other stories!)_

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, iOMG, or "You Look So Fine" by Garbage. An awesome band, by the way.**

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_You look so fine_  
_I want to break your heart_  
_And give you mine_  
_You're taking me over_

This is no one's fault but my own. I tried, I seriously tried harder than I have for anything in my life! I pushed and I shoved, to get myself away. Too bad that only worked before... before. But that was a long time ago.

Now, I see him, and I feel the battle rage within me. Do I pummel the heck out of him? Or do I run up and kiss him like there's no tomorrow, which there wouldn't be, if I did that? No. Every time I choose the third option: Keep the turmoil _inside_, where it belongs. Straight face, cool gaze, casual insult of a greeting. Like before.

Before I lost control and fell for him.

_It's so insane_  
_You've got me tethered and chained_  
_I hear your name_  
_And I'm falling over_

It really makes me feel pathetic, you know? Carly is used to getting everything she wants with little effort. She wants me to get together with the new kid, telling me to "make a move," because, "don't I want a nice boyfriend?" She doesn't _know,_ hasn't been _told _that HE'S not the reason my cover is cracking to splinters! It's someone _else, _and the magnitude of my emotions is scaring me to death_. _I'm stuck, though. That feeling, the one where I want to barf my guts up and then bang my head against the nearest brick wall, is bubbling over; there's too much of it to be contained. It's showing in my carefully composed face. All I can do is try not to resist the latest matchmaking plan too much, and hope that it will provide my disguise for me.

_I'm not like all the other girls_  
_I can't take it like the other girls_  
_I won't share it like the other girls_  
_That you used to know_

_You look so fine_

If this wasn't so wrong, I might actually take Carly's advice. Are you surprised by that? Well, I can be pretty forward with the right help. It's just that, I know I'm not his "type." He's made it abundantly clear in his previous choices what his type is, and of course, there's also his number one choice of all-time. Carly. The other girls he's dated have been such obvious Carly knockoffs, I think I'd rather he date Carly and be done with it! Brunette. Beautiful. _Nice._ Also known as, the list of everything I am not.

Yet, with Carly, he has got to know he'll never win! When I say she'll never love him, I mean it. Carly Shay is too naive to have experienced anything like love. The time they tried to date was a joke. I'm not sure where I myself stand, love-wise. I know I've never felt the way I do before, but I also didn't want to feel the way I do, and I never want to feel this way again if I can avoid it. Does that mean it's love? How the heck can I say, at my age?

_Knocked down_  
_Cried out_  
_Been down just to find out_  
_I'm through_  
_Bleeding for you_

Everything that's been going on is too much for me. I can unfortunately see that things are going to take a swift turn for the worst extremely soon; it's only up to me as to when. Why did I ever agree to come tonight? It wasn't even mandatory. That is how far I've sunk, that I would willingly go to a school event I. Wasn't. Required. To go to. Ugh. And everywhere I turn, someone is there pushing me farther off the cliff I constantly teeter on. There's Brad, trying awkwardly to see if I'm flirting with him or not. There's Carly, pestering me to get a move on or she'll never forgive me. There's Gibby, being a nub-face, and bringing my temper up in general. And there's...

Freddie.

_I'm open wide_  
_I want to take you home_  
_We'll waste some time_  
_You're the only one for me_

How do these things happen to me? I came outside _thinking _I could collect my thoughts, only to find the one person sure to scatter them. The absolute jerk.

"Why are you out here?" I ask roughly. I'm slightly taken aback by my voice. It sounds like I've been crying, which I haven't... but that's not going to fool him.

He looks at me with more concern than I can bear to handle. "Carly told me about you and Brad. Are you all right?"

I push past him. "Why did she do that? Carly thinks she's so observant, but she's not! I don't want to be with him, okay?" Why am I even telling him this? What happened to it being my disguise? _Where is my self-control?_

Freddie grabs my arm and turns me around to face him. "You don't have to pretend you don't like him, Sam. I thought we agreed to tell each other everything? No matter how much... we don't want to."

_You look so fine_  
_I'm like the desert tonight_  
_Leave her behind_  
_If you want to show me_

Oh holy crabcakes, could he be any more attractive than he is right now? I'd think it was written on my face like a neon gel pen on black paper what I'm feeling right now. Somehow, he must think it's for someone else. There won't be anyone else.

"Well, even if you're staying quiet about it," Freddie continues in response to my intense silence, "I can't let you torture yourself. There's obviously someone you really care about, whether it's Brad or not. What I'm trying to say is, I know it's scary for you to put your feelings out there. 'Cause you never know if the person you like is gonna like you back. But... you never know what might happen."

_I'm not like all the other girls_  
_I won't take it like the other girls_  
_I won't fake it like the other girls_  
_That you used to know_

He's so sincere it's killing me.

"It's different this time," I whisper, barely able to make a sound. "I..."

_You're taking me over_  
_Over and over_  
_I'm falling over_  
_Over and over_

And this is when I realize, I'm never going to be happy this way. Carly says to go for it? Maybe she's got the right idea. He's looking at me like every word I say will change the world, like nothing else matters right now, like he could somehow care about me in some way. I can't help myself.

I launch for his face like a rocket, desperately seeking his lips like they'll save my life.

_You're taking me over_  
_Drown in me one more time_  
_Hide inside me tonight_  
_Do what you want to do_  
_Just pretend happy end_  
_Let me know let it show_

It would be enough to save my life, I know it. If this moment could be all the rest of my life was comprised of, I would be living a dream life. He stands there at first, unresponsive, but then he reciprocates. Back and forth our lips move, heads turning, dying to breath but unable to separate long enough to. All the unreleased emotions I've had since the first time we did this, so innocently, are poured into our kiss. It's nothing like the first time. I feel sure our mouths must be on fire by now.

_Ending with letting go  
Ending with letting go  
Ending with letting go_

When he lets me go to take a gulp of air, it's like someone has slapped me across the face, yelling, _"WHAT have you done?" _I stand there, shivering, but not from cold. As good as I felt a second ago, I now feel as though I could throw up. He's looking at me again, a mix of confusion, shock, and a tinge of enjoyment covering his face.

"I didn't... think..." he begins, but I cut him off.

"No, _I _didn't think," I say hoarsely. "I have to leave."

_Let's pretend happy end  
Let's pretend happy end  
Let's pretend happy end  
Let's pretend happy end_

"Sam, you can't do that!" he half-yells, but I'm already running around to the front of the building.

"Please, Freddie," I say, stopping long enough to look back at him. "This never happened. Tell Carly things didn't work out with Brad. Tell her my mom is in jail again, I don't care. But we- I- this doesn't exist."

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_(A/N: That was as emotionally taxing for me as it was for the characters! I hope it stands apart from the other stories in this iOMG-themed Seddie boom. If my sisters are reading this... shut up, guys :P)_


	2. Fix You

_(A/N: I couldn't resist a second part, and apparently, neither could the people reading this. Thanks, readers :) _IMPORTANT NOTE_: This one overlaps with the first one.)_

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, iOMG, or "Fix You" by Coldplay. Another good band.**

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_When you try your best but you don't succeed_  
_When you get what you want but not what you need_  
_When you feel so tired but you can't sleep_  
_Stuck in reverse_

I've never seen her this way before. She looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, and it's absolutely destroying her. I bet even the most hard-hearted person would break, looking at her. And that makes it ironic; I used to think _she _was the most hard-hearted. That was before things settled down... The unnerving thing about it is the reason that change took place.

All I can think about tonight is what I can do to make this right. She never lets herself show this much, and that's how I know something is eating her alive.

_And the tears come streaming down your face_  
_When you lose something you can't replace_  
_When you love someone but it goes to waste_  
_Could it be worse?_

Love? Could she really be... in love? Her? That's what Carly thought first, and now with the help of Pear, I've confirmed it. I never thought I would see the day that such a human emotion, weakness, even, would be _confirmed _in her.

I don't know how I feel about this.

What did this new kid do that made her fall so completely? I swear, if it was the fudge... I even told her to remember it.

Forget the fudge, Sam.

_Lights will guide you home_  
_And ignite your bones_  
_And I will try to fix you_

I came out here to get a little fresh air; the school is stifling. Between the many kids running around, the competitive edge Brad and I are getting from the other AV guys, and Carly breathing down my neck pestering to help out with "operation LOVE," I could use a minute to breathe.

"Why are you out here?" I spin around at sound of a tortured voice. Sam stands there, trying to look tough like usual, but somehow failing this time.

I watch her, unable to keep the concern off of my face. "Carly told me about you and Brad. Are you all right?"

She pushes past me, clearly agitated, saying, "Why did she do that? Carly thinks she's so observant, but she's not! I don't want to be with him, okay?"

Then why does she seem so unhappy? She's a known liar. I have to get this out of her if it kills me.

_And high up above or down below_  
_When you're too in love to let it go_  
_But if you never try you'll never know_  
_Just what you're worth_

I grab her arm and turn her around to face me. "You don't have to pretend you don't like him, Sam," I begin. "I thought we agreed to tell each other everything? No matter how much... we don't want to." She stares at me, visibly at war with herself.

"Well, even if you're staying quiet about it," I continue somewhat awkwardly, "I can't let you torture yourself. There's obviously someone you really care about, whether it's Brad or not. What I'm trying to say is, I know it's scary for you to put your feelings out there." Kind of like I am now. "'Cause you never know if the person you like is gonna like you back. But... you never know what might happen." I steel myself for the anger she has got to be harboring at this point.

"It's different this time," she whispers, taking me by surprise. "I..."

_Lights will guide you home_  
_And ignite your bones_  
_And I will try to fix you_

And then her expression changes, and all at once I find her lips on mine. I'm so shocked at first, how can I respond? Then I find myself thinking: something that feels this right cannot be wrong.

We're both into this kiss, her clinging to me like her life depended on it, my body duplicating her every move. I've never kissed anyone like this, and I've certainly never kissed _her _like this. It's mind-bogglingly new and fantastic.

Finally, though, the need for oxygen makes itself apparent and I break away to gasp for air. She just stands there, looking like a trapped animal.

"I didn't... think..." I start to say. It wasn't Brad? That _entire_ time?

_Tears stream down your face_  
_When you lose something you cannot replace_  
_Tears stream down your face_  
_And I..._

"No, _I_ didn't think," she says hoarsely. "I have to leave." She breaks into a run, heading for the front of the building; anywhere I'm not, I guess.

"Sam, you can't do that!" I yell half heartedly. Why won't my legs move at a time like this?

"Please, Freddie." She stops in her tracks, not even bothering with a clever nickname. "This never happened. Tell Carly things didn't work out with Brad. Tell her my mom went to jail again, I don't care. But we- I- this doesn't exist."

I stare after her, a million thoughts running through my head at once. The only one that stands out is telling me, "_Go after her."_

_Lights will guide you home_  
_And ignite your bones_  
_And I will try to fix you_

I begin running like I've never run in my life. I could win marathons with this kind of motivation. And there she is, sitting on the steps, trying to catch her breath.

"Did you really think- I wouldn't run- after you?" I wheeze, unable to find the air to speak after my sprint.

She looks up, surprise and mortification on her face. "Go away, Fredstupid. There's nothing to talk about here."

I sit down next to her. "There's everything to talk about." We fidget around, not looking at each other. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"I lost control, okay?" she explodes suddenly. "I've been going crazy all night, and I lost control! It's not my fault you and your nubbishness were standing in the way when it happened."

I feel myself smirk a little. "It has nothing to do with the fact that you might maybe not love Brad after all? Carly has been known to be wrong before."

"Where's Spencer when you need him?" she looks around distractedly. "I was thinking of asking him for banjo lessons."

"You are avoiding this so much, it's affecting your lying abilities. Sam Puckett, do you... I never thought I'd ask this," I say, running a nervous hand through my hair.

"Do I love you?" she provides for me. "Do _I _love _you? _The Queen of nubs? The dorkiest dishrag ever to walk the planet? _You?_" She stands up and looks down at me. "YES! And how do you think that makes me _feel_? It's nauseating! Why does everyone write songs about this? I'd rather run over it with a taco truck!" As an afterthought, she adds, "You know, Carly really will never love you."

"I do know," I say, startling us both. "I'm only realizing now that I think I've known that for a long time."

"Oh," she says, at a loss for anything better to say.

Now I stand up. "I'm also only realizing now how much time I wasted." I reach for her hand. She resists, pulling away from me, but I take it firmly back. "Sam... I want to make things right. It seems almost counterintuitive, but I couldn't stand to see you so miserable earlier."

She looks away, her pride giving her an air of uncaringness. Luckily, I know better. "I can't wave a magic wand over this situation and be done with it, I need some time for this to sink in," I say helplessly. "I just want you to know that no matter what happens between us, I'm never going to let you be that unhappy again. Do you hear me?" So many things I never thought I'd do, all happening in the same hour.

Her eyes meet mine in a fierce gaze. "I'm holding you to that, Benson."

"Please do," I say in a low voice, then clear my throat when I realize how close we are again. "So, friends until I sort my thoughts out?" I ask, holding my arms out.

She nods, a small smile creeping onto her face. "Yeah, whatever." She steps into my arms, where she fits perfectly, might I add, and even a hug between us has more riding on it than anything I've ever done before.

I'm not going to sleep tonight.

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_(A/N: Eeeeeeee! Please please review and tell me what you thought of this two-shot! I know it's a little OOC, but not much considering it's an angst fic. I would love for iOMG to be like this. And that's why we have Fanfiction! In the words of sarcasticleaves and lanetea, rock on, mighty Seddie warriors!)_


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